Faith

An armor of steel to protect a heart of glass,

falling from grace, she won’t be at Sunday’s mass.

Sinking in the shadows from the depths her soul,

she knocks on heaven’s gate but can’t pay the toll.

She’s cast away as if she were an abject,

how can such a ‘holy’ spirit reject?

She prayed everyday, and every sunday went to church,

she let jesus in, looked for god, everyday she’d search.

All she ever asked for was peace of mind,

just a little hope that she could find.

Her body feels heavy, thinking of the past,

uncertain how much longer her sanity can last.

Fears and loneliness driving her madness,

no one seems to see she’s dripping with sadness.

Her painful memories weigh her down,

for so long she’s wanted to drown.

She’s always pushed aside,

too many social rules to abide.

How does her sister do it so well?

Everyone likes her, that’s easy to tell.

But she’s not like her, she doesn’t fit in,

she shouldn’t be expected to act like her kin.

The darkness beseeched her essence,

so much despair for a child of innocence.

She’s still young, golden and pure,

though life makes her feel so unsure.

Calling for help her mind is her hell,

but no one hears, no matter how loud she’d yell.

She feels cursed, thrown to damnation.

In a world too cruel, she hates all civilization.

No one knows about what she’s gone though,

Arms filled with delicate lines, convinced, it’s just a few.

Little streams turn to coursing rivers,

releasing her sins gives her shivers.

Deeper and deeper the blade sinks in,

praying to be forgiven, for one last sin.

She begins to swim up river, waterfalls flow.

After this it doesn't matter to her where she’ll go.

Heaven or hell she doesn’t care,

dancing in flames would be easier to bear.

She swims and swims until she’s too tired,

sinking in blood she waits to be hired,

lead to the wide golden gates,

where happiness awaits.

She follows the light just like you’d assume,

lead not to heaven nor hell but a hospital room

to find her body being carried away,

and two grieving parents, praying she’d stay,

but she’s gone, not with them anymore.

She doesn’t understand what they're crying for.

They’re pleading with their god, asking for her back,

blaming themselves for the piece of heart they now lack.

She watches her parents kiss her goodbye,

she opens her mouth but can’t say, don’t cry.

Time goes bye and frostbite nips,

still no words escape her lips.

She watches her mother wasting away,

sees her father drink each and every day.

Her little sister seems to have lost her way,

she stands right there, but she’s far away.

This isn’t what she wanted, she never thought,

Never realized how much pain her absence brought.

She regrets it now, but it’s too late.

She let the knife in her hand seal her fate.