Failure's Fear

Failures Fear

I rise to fail and fail again.

To try and try and try in vain.

Bandaged in shame and hurt and pain.

To fight off guilt that falls like rain

Inside I feel I go insane.

Lie down, don’t rise my inside cries.

Why try? Why hope? When all just dies.

The earth is warm and dark and shelters from judging eyes,

So give in, give way to death and flies.

Let go of light let darkness rise.

Oh how warm the arms of self-pity.

How sweet the lips of self-doubt

How strong the body of self-hatred.

And isn’t the face of shame so pretty.

As I lock myself in failure's privy.

Yet you still stand outside my door

You knock and knock and knock once more.

Calling my name so sweet so sure.

That for my life there waits much more.

Yet darkness keeps me from the door.

Again, again and again you offer your hand.

But failure makes it as burning sand.

And even now in light I see no promised land.

The sea behind, desert afoot.

Too scared to run I choose to stand.

A voice enraged by my indignity.

Booms back I will not let you take my victory.

I’ve already died for you why can’t you see?

You simply have to step and trust in me.

Ready to scream I told you so!

I stamp my feet on burning sands

And look down to see them rest on nail priced hands.

Each step I take same move you make

And leave fresh grass and flowers in my wake

So now I laugh and run with my face bathed in sun.

The Promised Land has finally come.