Fact vs. Opinion

Fact: I have 3 kids.

Opinion: I am beautiful.

Fact: I go to school.

Opinion: I am intelligent.

Fact: I’ve been hurt a lot.

Opinion: I am strong.

Someone told me once, that they accepted compliments

Because he accepted their nice opinion of him.

Why is that so hard for some of us to do?

To accept that someone thinks we’re beautiful?

Or that someone believed in us?

Why do we continue to feel like we deserve less than others?

Why do we feel like less?

All around us we hear other opinions about ourselves.

You look so beautiful.

You’re such a good parent.

You’re such a good person.

You are good.

It’s a battle between who is right.

You, the one who is behind the scenes to the comedy-drama of your life?

Or those who see you from the outside, watching when you’re not looking?

How do you accept something you’ve fought against your whole life?

How do you love someone you’ve always hated?

I can’t even look in the mirror let alone think positively about myself.

So, when you sit there and tell me I’m beautiful,

It’s a real struggle.

I’ve held on to such a long past.

They follow me like a leeching shadow, draining me of any security.

My mind, so full of hatred.

Ugly words, mean acts.

Fat. Worthless. Pathetic.

Failure.

I am a failure, opinion.

I watch others with such envy that it makes me weep.

I want it.

I want it all.

The confidence, the smile, being able to be proud of myself.

I would give anything for that.

So, with baby steps, I start this journey.

Until one day, when I will be able to say,

I love me.