Sitting on the floor
Afraid to live
I feel a knot in my throat
I can't hold back anymore
I take a deep breath and a tear streams down my left cheek
With my legs crossed I hunch over
My mind wanders into panic
The worst things happen in my head
I probably kill myself five times a day
I try to make them stop
but they don't leave me alone
Even when they're not present, they linger
"you hurt him"
"they're going to die"
"you're a bad person"
That's how it always is
Obsessing over what will happen,
what I did, what I didn't do
"Did I do that?"
Replaying my day over and over
to make sure everyone is safe
"are they safe?"
"am I safe?”
About the Creator
Esme Alvarez
I started writing as a way of getting things off my chest or head. It makes me feel a little less crazy. To those that are living in fear due to mental illness: you are strong, you are a warrior and you are not alone.
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