Emotionally Paralysed

hitting yourself mentally

kicking

punching

slapping

banging your head against the wall.

all while you're lying there,

staring

at the covers of your sheets.

im embarrassed.ashamed.angry,

Sad.

can't the thoughts just go?

my eyes are closing now,

in hopes of blocking it out -

forgetting its all in my head anyway.

now the tears start to fall.

too deep in thought,

i guess.

i want it to stop

but

i'm paralysed.