Emotional Bankruptcy

My baby knows I'm very curious.

How I love him.

"Your thirst to know drew me to you, he says, but I am afraid it will be the end of us."

The past four years have been heaven on earth.

BUT.

Tonight, the look on his face scared me.

Unlike before, arms around my bosom, while his body rests against mine.

Face buried in his chest. Fuck yeah.

He couldn't look at me. He would not even let me touch him.

Michael's facial expressions have always betrayed him, and tonight, was no different.

He knew. He knew that I was in love with her.

I'm afraid I might have ruined a good man.

How long has he known? When did he find out? How did he know?

"I'm out of love." I wanted to say.

Not for you, because you'd always be my baby.

You called me intelligent before you called me pretty.

You called me brave even after you saw my insecurities.

You called me strength each morning after the battles with my demons at night.

You called me resilient each time I resisted the urge to slit my wrist.

But for us, Michael.

I'm out of the deposit.

I cashed out all my love, and now I have no savings.

I'm selfish, I know.

I held onto friendship with hopes

that time will wire me with reasons to keep our flame burning.

It failed me.

I failed you.

I'm bankrupt.

HIM: WE NEED TO TALK.