Dying to Live

I wrestled with God and I asked Him why, I wrestled with Life and asked it why… I looked at myself and I did not know me, all I could feel was the feeling of being consumed with trying to find answers, trying to again figure out a way out… AN OPEN DOOR, I was running and I was tired

HERE I WAS AGAIN DYING TO LIVE…

If you could look at me, if you could see my soul, my heart laid bare for you to see, you would see the weariness, the frustration, the emptiness, slowly I wanted to just lose myself and give in but I could not give up, somewhere deep inside was the fighting spirit, I did not want to tap into that energy, I wanted that energy to leave and let me wallow into the darkness within till I gave into it and let it envelope me and kill me

OH HOW TIRED I WAS… I am at the end of myself, I cannot fight anymore, I have cried till it pains inside as the tears are now not enough to express my HURTING, It hurts so much that a surgery needs to be done… the pain needs to be cut out and cut off

LET ME GET THROUGH THIS HOUR, THIS NIGHT, THIS DAY… I cannot think too far ahead, there is just too much to think about and try to resolve…