Drama Queen

Sometimes I wish I could sink through the floor.

I could hear the director of my life screech with a broken voice, "That's a wrap, everybody!"

I'd stand up, brush myself off, and watch everyone around me disperse.

I'd be a people pleasing, smile towards the camera every chance I get, donate only when the press is around sort of actress. An actress that strives to be, and only to be, someone's dream.

Behind closed doors, I'd gulp every last drop of something bitter in a pretty bottle.

Every day after shooting the fantastic life of me, I'd watch the actor of my first love gather his coat and push the doors when it says pull. I'd watch the actor who plays HIM walk out with the boy who plays The Big Bad Wolf, as they share a cigarette, toasting to their upcoming paycheck.

But, no.

I don't sink through the floor. There is no director. I am not a people pleasing actress.

I am an ordinary girl who bears glass-like wings. I am an ordinary girl who keeps birds and dread in her chest. I am an ordinary girl who falls for the boys in my dreams, the ones that don't look away when I smile.

I am an ordinary girl who is everything but ordinary.

For what kind of ordinary girl would dream of being an actress that plays herself?