Don't Trust Yourself

This is not depression

This is acceptance

I cry because I realise now that this is the life set out for me

A string of failure and underachievement

But I need to be grateful

People have it worse, right?

This is not anxiety

This is failure

I've let myself be pushed over once again

They can see me coming a mile off and yet I keep going back

Like an abuser calling an excited puppy I sprint to their arms

I run excitedly towards what I expect to be love

Maybe this is it?

This is not self loathing

This is honesty

Can you blame them for getting fed up of me and casting me aside?

What a burden I am, freaking out over nothing

I'm an idiot for thinking I had a shot

Why should my friends pick me up when I'm the one who threw myself at your feet?

I am not suicidal

I am saving you