Do You Know Me?

If you really knew me.....

you'd know that I'm the third child of seven children

that I never once lived with my mother

but I would never want a different one

that I have never met my father but I love him anyway

that I grew up all my life with my grandparents

that it doesn't matter that I've spent part of my life being told I'm overweight

because I've never given up

on the idea of my thoughts being worth something

If you really knew me.....

you'd know that I spent part of my life hating myself and that's okay

because the whole time I never failed to believe I was worth something

that I will laugh at things I cannot change

that I sometimes joke around about my life

but my life is not as funny as my jokes

If you really knew me.....

you'd know that my family is not perfect

but I make it out to be anyway

that I never really liked my life

and always thought about giving up on life

but I'm very glad that I didn't

that I've let many people down

because of the pain and pressure I go through

If you really knew me.....

you'd know that I was once told that I would not be able to walk

that I may smile an look happy and everything's okay but that's not the case

that I wake up with smiles on my face and think I'm safe

but sometimes a smile hides what's really going on in my life

but if you really knew me you'd know that I don't want to hide anymore

If you really knew me.....

you'd know that I have a lot of work to do

that I once was lonely and aware of it

that I've spent part of my life that way

that I never really loved anyone

because I'm to afraid of what's happened in my past

that I have lost as much of my life that I have won

and that winning isn't as fun as it looks

If you really knew me.....

you'd know that I'm in love with someone

that I once had a plan for life

that sometimes I go to bed crying at night

that I've never found anyone willing to accept me for who i am

If you really knew.....

you'd know that I'll be moving on soon

and that I'm scared to do so but I'm ready

I'm ready to change

and when I look back on my childhood

I know I'm going to be able to smile

so now ask yourself

did you really know me