Diet Secrets of the Ancients

Isn't it curious

That ancient peoples were so lean

Even unto a rare and ripe old age?

How did they manage to keep the weight off?

By following a few wise and simple rules:

Plant lots of nuts and grains

Grow a wide variety of fruits and vegetables

Consume and cure as many fish as you can catch

Domesticate fowl and bovine for milk, eggs and poultry

Eat meat only as often as you can take down a woolly mammoth

And,

After a hard day's labor

Turn water into wine

And share it with all who sit at your table

But,

Drink only as many fermented grapes

As you can stomp yourself

Follow these age-old methods

And the pounds will melt away

And, oh yeah,

The most important diet secret handed down from the Ancients?

Eat only when you're hungry...