I met him one day during the summer
he was handsome, what was I to do
I was 12, he was 21, where was my mother
shooting up drugs, we both suffered
I was taught to sell my body as a preteen
smoke weed, dream, and snort cocaine
by the person who I called mommy
no values, guidelines, or morals
down the road yearning to be valued
drugs, prostitution, and lies
my whole life I just wanted to die
what was I to do for my future
I had no voice, no one listened
I was just another teen, lost in the system
I’ve made many mistakes as an adult
please don’t judge me, for I didn’t know
I wasn’t taught how to cook and clean
I was taught about cocaine and lean
I didn’t have slumber parties, tooth fairy, or Christmas,
my parties consisted of her beatings by various men through years
we struggled on the street,
always on our feet
waiting for the next roof to use for sleep
I’ve slept in closets and cars
when she would drag a man home from the bar
all those years she stuck a needle in her arm
from shelters to handcuffs, she weakened me more than ever
I stood by her until I couldn’t no more
teens were out learning to drive
while I was at home, raising a child to thrive
never did I learn self respect or self love
she taught me how to take advantage of men
use them for what I need and dispose of
I’m trying to heal but I’m not able to deal
that’s not even half of this storm
this is so hard to come forth
I’m so done, I don’t even care anymore
I can’t mask this pain any longer
I’m losing this war, I need supporters
I’m not getting any younger and my babies need their mother.
this is a demon, I just can’t conquer.
About the Creator
H.b. Woods
I am a mental health warrior; I battle it daily. I’m a mom to 5, a wife, a daughter, and a friend. Some of my poems are brutal as my ‘journey’ continues. Thank you for taking the time to read my poems.
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