Depression

Its name is depression

I want it to go away

But if it goes then who will stay

If it stays

Then who will go

Then “it” becomes him

I hate that he’s there but he lets me know I’m human

But when he’s there others seem to disappear

Why do I let myself face him alone

Maybe because I’m better off on my own

Sure I’ve tried to let others help.

The more I let them in the more I get lost, abused and

broken

When I try to forget about him,

He gets stronger then attacks at night when I'm at my weakest.

Consuming me with every little thought

Telling me I'm alone and it's best that way.

I’ve tried to fight back but then he takes away my motivation

So I feel like there’s no reason to fight him

He wants me to only be his,

For me to only think of him.

If I dare think of others he gets jealous

Then threatens to take everything away

I realize I have lost myself throughout this long journey called life,

Yet he tells me I'm fine

But he also tells me I need to change,

Open myself up and not to people

No what he thinks I should open is my arms but not for a hug

Nope he wants me to open my wrist

Telling me it's the only way to let it out

. . .

I know that's not the way but he keeps leading me to believe it is

I've tried everything to get him to go away

Tried drowning his voice with music, meeting new people, talking to people, and even doing what he wants

NOTHING works!

At first in the beginning he was so easy to ignore

But now he’s everywhere.

Just waiting for me to fall on my face so everyone laughs at me

And I run to him trusting him and opening up to only him.

He’s become like an addiction

It’s hard to get rid of because he’s been there for so long.

Even though I know he’s bad for me

he’s still there at 3 AM.

The funny thing is right when I find that piece of happiness

He finds a way to get involved and ruin it.

He has me wrapped up like a snake with its prey

Squeezing the life out of me but holding me close making me think i’m loved but really just suffocating till I give in.

Some days are worse than others;

those are the days he nearly wins

And he knows it.

I know he'll keep trying till I'm far enough he can push me of the cliff

So I fall into death's arms

Then the other days I'm able to hide him away with the best fake smile ever seen

He's almost got me a couple of times

And at one point I thought it was all over

But then… love happened

Ah love it's funny how it happens in the most unexpected way.

Now love, he's someone I really hope never leaves

He's brought back the skip in my step

The good to my morning, afternoon and night

He has made me see the light at the end of the tunnel

For once just looking at love makes me smile from my heart

It is new to feel all this

But yet I don't want it to ever get old

He helps me get through the day

He keeps depression away

And when depression sneaks away from him

And attacks me. He’s by my side

Telling me I’m not alone nor will I ever be

He helps me get rid of depression and makes sure I'm not fighting him alone.

But now depression's not the only one I worry about

Even though love is on my side

What if one day he becomes like hate.

Hate is someone I know I will lose against

I barely escaped through his fingers that last time we were face to face

He had an unbreakable grip on me

Till I saw the shimmer of light because of happiness

She's someone who I had problems with at first but now we are getting closer

But when I got away from hate that's when

Depression came back telling me he was right all along

All these feelings and emotions are all in one big blender

And I’m the glass that holds them all and that’s how it is

I try to stand up tall till I trip and fall

This thing I call life is just like one big whirl pool

Constantly going in circles

Never ending and never escaping

Sometimes you’re going with the flow and others you are going against it

Its name is depression…