It's odd you get into a routine the rut or dark cloud that hovers over you killing you slowly from the inside seems to become enjoyable. The twisted masochist in me loves the feeling of despair it makes me feel alive when it seems the work can come crashing down at a moment's notice. It seems to be the one true constant in life so much so that positivity becomes poison I don't want to be cured because the poison has slowly become my very own blood. You learn to live off of negativity. I thrive from it and that's what scares me the most.
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