Defeated Conqueress

I’m not supposed to feel this way anymore

I guess I have my heart to thank

For wanting to resurrect what never was

All the forgotten memories that sank

The whispers in the night that still resound in my head

Amongst the silent air that reminds me

the martyr's dead

I must pretend I do not care

I do not hear

Your soul begging to be right here

And mine beckoning yours to dessert your fear

But I must act as if the sirens do not blare

As I bare

This heavy armor I never wished to wear.

I’m not allowed to show

the exhaustion that grips my body and soul

With the truth that you’re still all I want

I would lose all the respect I have left

If I told the world I still want nothing else

Than the reflection of my truest self.

And you’d take these facts as a conquered quest

Knowing that your being is better than the best

And leave me still in this unrest.