Death in the Day

Awake before the sun,

Frost upon the earth,

Upon my skin,

It's silent like a gun,

The second before the trigger’s pulled,

I'm alert to each motion,

Searching for the threat in her skin,

For every danger in the shadows she holds in,

So many obvious obstacles only distract from the ones placed with subtlety,

It's not that I live in this chill darkness,

But that I wait to live in the spaces between breaths,

Seeking to sheath my pain in the space between her breasts,

I don't want to kill this frozen queen,

But to watch her thaw and die,

Gloriously alive long enough to create my addiction,

Then gone,

Never to satisfy these needs,

Born in the instant she fell to her knees,

I crumble beneath the burden of knowledge,

The fruit of this tree is bitter,

Caress me into the grave,

Stretched out among the worms and decomposing things,

The danger is more dire than we can believe,

I know my death is with us in this moment,

Yet I cannot leave,

I cannot abandon the only creature that makes it feel good to be me,

Kingdom of illusion,

Population,

One corpse,

Animated in the throes of my misery expressed over her corpulent skin,

Green is the color of living death,

This demonic worship is all I have left,

Passion for a love that's dead,

All these conflicting fantasies,

Collected and catalogued in my head,

Pull it off the pillow to face a black day,

Point my fingers in a million directions,

Yet it's I that have made myself this way,

Blue eyes replace brown,

Replace hazel replace green,

Replacing pain with attempts at pleasure,

The depth of my degradation is the measure,

Of the depth of the love I betrayed,

Or perhaps not betrayed,

But let die from lack of nourishment,

As in my self denial I left it to starve behind this old closed door.