Death

I am dying.

Sometimes I get sad or scared of the fact and people try to comfort me by saying “Dont worry, any of us could get hit by a bus at any moment. We’re all dying.” As if there is no difference.

That?

That doesnt help.

See, we’re all driving in a car and people like you can look around and the road is clear but me?I look in the rear view mirror and I see that bus. A bus that is coming closer and closer in my rear view mirror and I can always see it.

Right

There

Behind me.

No matter what you say I will be afraid of that bus. I was once told fear and anxiety were two very different things. Fear is something you can see. A threat that is right there in front of you. Fear is when the tornado sirens are going off, the rain is heavy, you’re huddled in the corner of your basement and you can hear the wind howling through the broken window upstairs.

That is fear.

You are afraid of that tornado.

Anxiety is when it starts getting cloudy and maybe it starts to rain and this thing in the back of your mind wont stop screaming at you about a tornado. Anxiety is when you’re afraid of something that is not a there that is not a threat at least not yet.

This. applies to death.

You can be anxious. about a bus. And i say A bus deliberately because it is A bus that is not heading towards you and its on the opposite side of the road. you could have anxiety.

About

That

About a bus that is not there.

About a bus. thats is not. a. threat.

But I have a fear of it.

Because for me the bus IS there. Its behind me its real and I can see it.

When you tell me that we are not different that a bus could hit any of us at any time you are wrong. Because you cannot see that bus.

I can.

Its in my rear view mirror and i can always see it. i always have been able to see it i always will be able to see it.

That’s

The difference.