Dear Boys

I'm sorry

For the boy that tells you that by pulling that girl's hair and saying that she's got the lergies, she'll know that you like her.

My advice? Just say that's she nice and she smells good. She'll remember your honesty for the rest of her life.

I'm sorry

That you will be told "boys don't cry" and give yourself headaches resisting the tears

My advice? Tears are for everyone, that's why you have tear ducts and being upset for too long can be fatal.

I'm sorry

That your friends will tell you that having an off-day where you just want to talk instead of play football is "gay."

My advice? Be "gay" for a day. I can guarantee that one of your friends will be gay forever.

I'm sorry

That you'll be told that drinking a cocktail is for "weaklings" and you'll be needing a man's drink like a whiskey on the rocks

My advice? Find some friends that appreciate that acknowledge your tastebuds first and your inebriation second.

I'm sorry

That you will be expected to give up your jacket when your date gets cold because she expects you to regardless of circumstance

My advice? She should have picked an outfit where she could wear a jacket. Let her get wet and cold.

I’m sorry

That you will be called pussy-whipped when you finally do find a girl that you love inside and out and you want to spend a night with them under blankets watching Netflix

My advice? Remind them that they don’t know what love is until they’ve fucked their best friend in their worst pyjamas.

I'm sorry

That people will ignore your girlfriend's talents because a man is mediocre at her company and it gets him everywhere

My advice? Crack open the ice cream and tell her that she should find a company that respects her talents.

I’m sorry

That you will have to explain to your future sons and daughters why other boys don’t know how to be kind, soft, and understanding

My advice? Always tell them to be the bigger person, always tell them to be kind, be soft, be understanding.

I'm sorry

That you will always be expected to be different than what you are

My advice? Be yourself. Be unique. Be you.