Dear 16-Year-Old Me

Dear 16-year-old me

I remember the day like it was yesterday

The ink might be blurred but I remember the promises I made

Even though they are starting to fade

I am sorry that I killed you, we just couldn't coexist

We are so different you and I, I'm sorry I couldn't save you

Your death was something so long overdue

I am everything you vowed never to be

You said you wanted your body to be free

I am sorry I imprisoned you

I am in a cage trapped, yes. That's true.

I want you to know that it's not your fault

You had dreams, I am sorry I couldn't fulfill them

You said you'd never touch alcohol I'm sorry for being a disappointment

I was trying to blend to the entertainment

I don't know when exactly, but I lost you in that moment

This is probably the time to blow the trumpet

When I took my first pull in that blunt two years ago

I heard your voice pleading me to it go

I am sorry I broke you, it was just my ego

I am ashamed to be writing you this information

Letting slip this abomination

All the promises I made are broken

Shattered into pieces by the heart that made them

I humiliated you and mocked your ambition

Now I lack direction

I thought I was being woke but I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep

To the past I took a trip

That made me realize how I am now so cheap

I know the value you put in yourself

You wouldn't settle for the life I chose to have

You valued freedom but didn't abuse it

You loved your health so you didn't risk it

You told me you loved me

You said I must never change

I remember that day like it was yesterday

Thinking about it I fell apart today

Because it's today that I remembered that you were someone...

I wanted to be

And know you are gone, to be forgotten

Dear 16-year-old me

I am guilty of your murder

Please forgive me