Dead Leaves

As September rolls around and colder weather ensues, I'm still falling asleep wrapped in memories and thoughts of you; bittersweet yet enough to keep me warm. The way you used to look at me, how warm you were, the way your hands felt across my body, laying on your chest, holding your hand, oh god, just everything. I should be over you by now, it's been probably four months since you last texted me and five since we last spoke. Five months since I heard your voice, the voice I'd hear at least once over a five day period. It killed me to see you post about her on social media after keeping mum for a few months. You must be happy and I want that for you. Maybe it was right person, wrong timing for me but the right timing for you and her. And maybe, you told her about me because you're a honest person and maybe she didn't approve of my feelings for you. I'll keep telling myself that she didn't want you talking to me so you stopped...

Trying to forget you until I'm reminded of you because someone kissed me the way you do and suddenly, I was knocked off my feet, shards of glass digging into my hands as I struggled to regain my balance and stand up; I was in the same place as four months before. And then a new face entered my life and you were forgotten.

But you didn't just leave, you came back in flashes, a quick glimpse of your face in a stranger. Just like the autumn leaves, you didn't break off all at once. No, you fell in piles, a lot at first and then slowly; one leaf after another.

By October, the leaves had changed color and were dancing, twirling as they fell from trees, leaving them barren. At first, I looked at these trees with sadness, they had been robbed of something that made them so beautiful. But when I looked around me, at the snow that covered these dead leaves, my eyes glossed over because of the beauty. And that's when I realized that it was time to let dead leaves go, and you were one of them.

-p.k.d.