Darkness

Don't talk to me about the weather

As if I am not of this world

Do not talk to me about how you're doing

Since we all say okay without hesitation

For we all don't want to share our burden

Shallow formalities

Instead of depth and meaning

Tell me about the scar on your arm

That you probably assume I never noticed

Solely because you never saw mine

Tell me about the times you've been so low you wanted to die

I can see them swimming in your eyes

The same way I debated swimming in pills

And drowning in alcohol more than one time

Do you still believe in good

Despite the amount of hurt you've endured

Which emulates in every moment of hesitation with me

Or do you drown in darkness

The kind that rolls off my tongue like cigarette smoke

Giving you no choice but to breathe it all in and cough it back out

Or choke

Maybe that's what you see in me after all

Tell me what you want from me

Don't waltz around the issue

Circling it in six

Yet somehow only brushing it with my skirt hem

Wearing my heart around your neck like a prize

Neglecting the fact you ripped it from my chest

Despite my screams of protest

What I wouldn't give for an ounce of attention

Desperation doesn't become me does it?

Not wanting to die

Well that's hard work sometimes

And you know that as well as I

Because hurt people, we hurt people

And honey are we toxic

Breaking every bone in each other's bodies

But you're stronger than I

And well I can't break you like you break me

So tell me why you're worth breaking for

If you can give me a reason

Well I'll try to understand it

I'll let you crush me to dust in your palm

Or better you grind me in pestle and mortar

Until I'm nothing but fragmented pieces

I'd never be able to put back together anyways

And you can use my brokenness

To build yourself back up

If that will heal you

Or form me in the likeness of your fantasy

Call yourself creator

My personal salvation

To whom I'm indebted

And tithe from my bones

Lips and hips

Convinced I owe you that

Maybe then you'll want me

No, you won't ever want me

But darling I still care

And I'll die once over

If you don't have to die alone

As for me well don't worry about it

I've never needed anyone

I hurt literally everyone

My intensity will scare you

So you'll end up leaving me anyways

You'll smash my heart anyways