I remember at one point in time,
The slightest shadow would frighten me.
As a child I found myself cowering before the presence of darkness,
Begging for some form of evanescent luminescence.
I clung onto light more so than I did anything then.
Now as an adult,
I find myself bias toward the darkness,
And in more ways than one.
When I say I prefer the darkness,
I don't just mean that I prefer the absence of illumination,
I mean that I prefer the dark parts of everything.
I wish I meant that I only desired for there to be no luster in my presence,
No gleam, radiance or anything in-between.
I desire the dark parts of the soul,
I seek the utter chaos that lies within every calm quintessence.
I crave the scar that's left dormant on an aching heart.
I covet the sorrowful sigh of a disheartened individual.
As a child,
I would have been scared of the things you have made me feel,
The things you have left me yearning for,
But I am not that anymore,
and now more so than ever,
I long for it.
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