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Damnation

I knew the consequences of standing too close to the fire.

By D. MPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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My own image 

I knew that she could be good. So I didn't care that she could be bad. We could all be bad, so why would I condemn her for a possibility? And when I saw her be bad I ignored it. We all have our bad days, so why would I condemn her for a bad day? When I saw the bad days outweigh the good I held her closer. Why would I condemn her for needing a shoulder to cry on? When the tears turned to rage she began to condemn all to a torture I knew to be in her; but I never expected it to touch me. Her fire exploded and destroyed everything around me. I still had not condemned her; for her flames had not harmed me. I had fallen in love with her, fire and all. Why would I condem one I love?

I wish I could say I soothed the flames, or the rage in her heart. I tried. When I got in her line of fire she didnt hesitate to light me up. You'd think I'd condemn her, the way she did to me. But no. I knew the consequences of standing to close to the fire. When I stood up again with open arms she lit me up again. If only I had learned my lesson. She would break me and burn me and tear me to shreds. And I would stand again and hold her closer. Why would I condemn her for the lesson I could not learn? I loved her so she could do no wrong. No matter how much wrong she really did.

But when I was bad she did not see it as a bad day, she saw me as a bad person. When my bad days outweighed the good, she pushed me away. When my tears turned to rage, she saw me as the monster. Though I lashed out and destroyed what I could, I made sure I would not harm her. When she got in my line of fire, I couldn't take the shot. Still, she condemned me. I held her above all else and yet she condemned me. Even as she condemned me I could not do the same to her. Who was I to judge?

Now I ask myself who was she to condemn me? She was no one in reality, just a figment of my own heart. The heart I gave to her unconditionally, and still she would condemn me. I could do no right in her eyes. No matter how much right I really did. Why would she condemn me, for I could never condemn her?

heartbreak
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