"Dad"

I am silly

I am stupid

What the hell was I thinking, thinking he just wanted a father daughter bond.

When I think of what happened my whole body shakes, my cheeks go from hot to cold, my head starts to spin and I can feel the tears ready to come out.

I wake up at night from all my nightmares, his face blurred, yet recognisable. My cries for him to stop.

Sometimes, I can still feel his hands holding my hands back, his body pressing me down.

I hear my own screams, feel his obvious enjoyment vibrating through that cold night. His sick smile appearing on his lips.

It's been five years now.

I'm still scared

I'm still ashamed

How do I explain this?

Why did they wait for others to be hurt to finally hear me?

I feel torn apart from the world like I don't beling here.

I feel myself questioning my own existence.

My temper is shorter

I feel so powerless

He made me feel like this

He took away my innocence

I feel violated

What should I do?