Confused

I sit here in silence, thinking of you.

Of the words that you said and the words that you say.

Asking to give you my heart once again but you must have forgotten, you threw it away.

Still I can't deny what I'm trying to hide, a love and a hate that I can't figure out.

Laughing out loud yet I'm crying inside for a lingering love that my soul cannot doubt.

Look at the fear and the tears in my eyes, from hearing the whispers of love in my soul. Yet I'm screaming out words that my heart just denies cause I know down inside that I haven't let go.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. My mind craves your memory, my soul craves your touch. I feel so cold and alone here without you, never before have I suffered this much. And some say I'm crazy for feeling this way but I needed you then and I'm needing you now. I'm aware of the price that I'll probably pay but your touch is a thing that I can't live without.

So you look at me now and it's there in your eyes and I wish for a dream that will never come true. I remember the pain and the tears that I cried but I look at your face and forget what to do.

My mind is still telling me I should not love you and urging my arms to push you away. Yet my warm lips are silent to sit and think of you and I hold back the words that I'm longing to say.

So I sit here in silence, thinking of you. Of the words that you said and the words that you say. Confused with a hate that I swore was so true and still I don't know why I love you this way...