Cocktail of Pain

How much pain can I survive? Will I live in this hell forevermore, or am I destined to die? I cant keep running from myself, or the thoughts that plague my mind constantly. Every word is a dagger sent through me, every silent moment heals the wounds slowly.

Anger runs through my veins and a rage curls within my breaking heart. A scream into the fatal silence again falls my lips, seeping with agony. Chains wrap around my feet and hands, as she appears to torture me again. How can the ones that were supposed to love me drag me so far down into this darkness I have known for so long? How can they feed into the pain that has nearly taken over me again?

My rage and anger mix, and through circumstances of a different pain, begin to break the chains that hold me under her power. No longer am I the weak child, helpless to her attacks. Now I stand before her as I truly am, no more secrets and no more lies. A war of words rages behind my lips as I weigh whether or not to attack in revenge. The anger and rage sharply tear at me, wanting the chance to attack, yet I remain silent. To fire back is to become that powerless child again and to remain defined by her. Were the anger and rage make themselves known blatantly, she would win. If I fought back quietly, I would have the power and will reclaim the life I've lost because of her.

Survival is not easy, outside forces tear into you as your mind folds in on itself. When pain starts to seep from a hidden battle to that of reality, it becomes harder still. To find some reason to stay and fight is nearly impossible when your world is clouded by darkness. What is it for you?