Cigarettes

I never liked the taste of

cigarettes.

The bitter and disgusting bite

that follows the burn of

the tobacco never appealed

to me.

I always thought there

were better ways to

Deal with pain than

slowly burning yourself to death.

Then I realized how much

the burn makes you forget

for a while why you’re hurting.

The bitter taste becomes

all you know and you forget

what anything else tastes like.

When you’re anxious, bored,

or angry it becomes

your escape.

That’s how it gets you.

You think you can escape it

but it wraps its slimy

hands around your throat

and holds you down

until you give again

and again.

You try to fight but you

can’t anymore and

you know you’ve lost the fight already.

You lost the battle before it began.

The pain becomes too much

and then you can never not have

one on you.

It becomes you.

I didn’t know cigarettes would

make it me feel like this.

I guess I’d rather look into

a cloud of dirty smoke to find

answers than anywhere else.