Cigarette Burns

Cigarette Burns

You treat me just like a cigarette,

Put your lips on mine,

Just to get a hit,

You left me here,

Cold and alone on the ground,

While you move along,

To the next one,

I'm so used to feeling used,

So used to feeling mad,

Like I've lost my fucking head,

I'm the headless horseman,

Or wait,

No, I'm the headless whore,

Left beaten,

Bleeding and bruised,

On the hotel floor,

While you laugh and feel delight,

You love my emptiness,

You love my dying will to fight,

You soak up every ounce of my self esteem,

Spit it out and laugh as I scream,

I am nothing,

Because of you,

I am no one,

Because of every goddamn one of you,

Acting like I don't exist,

Until you need another hit,

This hell I was raised in,

I feel a friendly closeness,

To every shrieking soul,

The fire licks at my skin,

And I smirk because it makes me feel new again,

No one understands,

No one knows MY pain,

There are many others worse off than me,

Been through more than me,

Been raped, killed, abused, molested more than me,

But none of them know my pain,

As I know nothing of theirs,

We relate,

Coexist,

Breathe in each other's words,

Our ears bleed from the stories,

That slip out of our bruised and swollen lips,

Demons,

Angels,

Heaven,

Hell,

God,

Satan,

Who's truly to say what is real?

All we know is what we feel,

The void,

All I am is an empty,

Bottomless void of blackness,

Complete silence,

A real princess,

Of darkness,

But I awake from my nightmares,

Only to find,

I'm still that smoke,

That hit,

That wine,

Everything I am is everything I hate,

All that I am,

Is just another cigarette burn on my own skin.