Caterpillar Destroys, Butterflies Rise
#VocalNPM
This uncertainty is hanging strangely right outside of my cage
The answers I seek are vaguely out of my range
And I know the only way I can change this deranged vulnerability
Is to ignite my pain-stricken creativity
Burn paper with my mediocre vocabulary
Destroy everything that isn’t necessary
I lift my pen, put my head back down again and breathe fire
Onto the things, thoughts, and thorns keeping me from my desire
As the flames engulf me I am confident to climb higher
But the burning whispers beneath me never cease to insult and repulse me
It’s like I’m relapsing, collapsing, backtracking
so I replace my kneecaps with concrete waxing
Searching for a certain stability to keep me standing
But a solid foundation becomes a weight I never agreed upon
In order to let go, I take a hammer and shatter what I thought I had relied on
Choke back the pain, say goodbye, and move along
But soon I realize my eyes are bone dry, I can’t cry
Because my life is not defined nor designed to be linear
It’s built for ups and downs, no physical barriers
To get where I’m going, I must ride this roller coaster
I’ll scale this mountain of fire with scorching desire to reach the peak–
NO
To reach the summit
Because topographically, the summit is mathematically the highest point
But to reach the top is only a vital checkpoint
From here I will test my wings, toughen up, step off, and trust it
I no longer feel like a solid substance, just pure ashes of a detached spirit
I train myself to listen and I hear the sweet, sublime whines of the wind drowning out the whispers from which I desperately descend
My chest will now rise and fall without shame
It’s no surprise that in my brain this is just a game
But there’s no time-outs, no ref to announce my double bounce, and no substitutes, only jurors countering my countersuits
No audience cheering in the stands as I take the stand to testify my right to exemplify how a caterpillar can so quickly become a butterfly
It’s obvious there’s no witness of my growth but mine and mine alone, but this fire inside of me I will never revoke
I know no difference between falling and flying because rising and destroying is the only way I know how to keep climbing without dying
About the Creator
Cole Gomez
A young woman with an old soul, hiding behind her pen since '94. Loves words and birds. You can find her at your local hardware store buying another houseplant because she finds comfort in knowing her surroundings are growing as she does.
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