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Feelings... Hoping you'll read this...
But the dreams...
What do they mean?
Why are you always in them?
You're the last one on my mind at night
You always pop into my head in the middle of the day during the busiest part of my days
I end up wondering if you're okay
Wanting to tell you I'm ready
I want you to know I want you back
I want you to know it's only you my heart desires
And I can't imagine myself with anyone else
I can only imagine what you're doing
Or how you're dealing with everything
I hope you'll want me back
I want to be better for you
I want to make you happy
Because man am I crazy for you..
You're the only one my heart and mind have been chasing after
I can't think of a time it wasn't you
Since the day we met at orientation I wanted to be with you..
But I was with someone else..
I hope this doesn't end badly..
Man do I want you
To hold you
Create a bond with you
To kiss your lips
To sleep next to you
Play with your hair
Go on car rides with you
Take care of you when you're sick
Have my arms feel like a safe haven for you
My heart to feel like home
My eyes to calm you down when you're angry
I want to experience it all with you..
All the fights
All the yelling
All the tears
All the smiles
How would you react if I told you that?..
Would you want to experience it all with me too?
Why are you so upset?
Because it's 4am and I'm laying awake thinking of you
Thinking how bad I want to hold you in my arms
Yet here I am, alone
Unknowingly crying myself to sleep because I can't have you how I want to
Because I messed up and I know I did
Because I'm thinking how much I want your arms wrapped around me..
How much I want to hear your sleepy voice
How much I want to kiss your lips and nuzzle into your neck
How much I want you to be the last thing I see at night and the first I see in the morning
How much I want to tell you that you're the only one I want
That you're who my heart is calling out to
How much I want to be there with you
How much I want you to show up at my door and tell me you want me and you can't wait any longer
How much I wish the scenarios in my head would happen...
How much I wish I could kiss you in the full moon light
But I can't...
So I'll sit here and write..
Until I can't anymore..
Until I can tell you I'm ready and I want to be with you...
Do you remember?
Do you remember the first time we met?
Because I do
Do you remember the first time we kissed?
Because my heart still flutters and my cheeks still burn bright when I think about it
Do you remember the first time you held me?
Do you remember the first time we had sex?
Because I do..
It was the first time I felt intimate with someone..
Do you remember calming my anxiety?
Because you're the first person to ever be able to do that
Do you remember being everything I wanted?
Do you remember how I couldn't stop smiling around you?
Because now without you I'm struggling to even put on a smirk
I want you back.. I fucked up..
I want to bang on your door..
And tell you everything that's on my mind...
Apologize a hundred times..
But I know I won't able to cough the words up
Do you remember the tickle fights?
Do you remember me tricking you into kissing me while you were sick?
In such a short amount of time you gave me so much to remember
And how did I repay you?..
God.. I hate myself..
I'm so sorry..
But can we remember and go back to the good times?
Can we do that?..