Brain Damage

11:36 pm.

I was a bit traumatised

I'm doing everything wrong

He knew, he approached

and started yelling.

Apparently I have brain damage.

He told me I have brain damage.

I certainly hope not

treating brain damage is hella expensive.

Or if it's true I guess I could just deal with it

and hope to die sooner.

It's not my fault he's never had a teenage daughter before.

It's not my fault I'm not as good as he expects me to be.

I'm so fucking sorry to disappoint you.

To have you deal with a monster like me.

You seem to appreciate others

compare them to me sometimes.

That fucking hurts a little.

Just a little cos you do it so often that I got used to it.

I got so used to feeling useless and being treated like I have brain damage by someone who used to be my hero.

It hurts to know I am disappointing you repeatedly.

Believe me it doesn't look like it but I am trying so fucking hard.

Why can't you see that?

All I want is a little appreciation.

A little tap on my shoulder that tells me I'm doing great

I guess I never did great or anything good for you to appreciate me.

I'm jealous of them.

Them you see.

I will never do great.

I guess you just have to accept that.