Blood, Sweat & Mirrors

Poem 1: واضح احساس (CLEAR FEELINGS)

I try to make balance

All you want is the distance

Name my existence

So I find you with him

Feel my rage thats within

You're about to be a sin.

To you, i'm a psychopathic whore

But baby do you see me on all fours

Better watch that dirty mouth of yours

See there's no where left to hide

I see that you took the other side

Which means with you I don't confide

Wanna sin with me?

Poem 2: A dARk anAmNEsiS

I sit and scream waiting for your answer.

I fear the loss of what was once my destiny.

Why do you choose to torment me like this?

I stand, paralysed, unable to compose myself.

A dark anamnesis takes over me,

this is what you wanted, this is what you asked for...

I tried to hold back my inner demons, but they wanted out.

Seems you were their target...Oh well?

I surround myself with the esoteric liquid we call water

Slowly sinking deeper and deeper into it.

I put my mind at ease and close my eyes.

Why do I keep thinking about you?

So I wish I had the mind of a gemini to be all up with you,

turns out your nothing but shit, something I can't get close to.

I wish you the best in life and may your thoughts be clear to.

But take a trip down memory lane again, I'll be here waiting for you.

Poem 3: élan vital

Light and dark come together, a sudden change.

The air was to ripe to breathe, he dared me to inhale.

1.2.3 the silence was loud and pierced itself through me.

I ask, is trust a feeling or an emotion?

If that's what you truly believe

I'll haunt you forever and make several sacrifices,

And I know you question why I choose you?

And the answer is because I love you...

You think you know you better

Maybe?

You think I know better...

Definitely!

I bathe myself in your waters.

I sleep in your skin.

I breathe in your toxins.

I know he does too, that itch.

One day, truth will come

And that a day new me will be born

Your lies will die forever

Peace in rest, to the one I called LOVE.

Poem 4: The story of HiM...

The sky darkens and they come out to play, howling the wonders of the night. The spirit figures circle me, indulging me in their clear smell. I turn 180 degrees only to find myself staring into a triangular mirror. I walk closer and Closer and CLOSER to find him staring at me. His muscular tanned arms wrap around my waist pulling me closer into him. I'm scared but it's the warmth keeping me near. I close my eyes and his breath hitches at my ear, his lips gently touch the back of my neck and his arms tighten. He spins me around and I stare into a face full of blankness...DARK. I said "If it's what you truly want, take me with you."

Poem 5: Spoke to a SE-RA-PH

I saw the vision...I saw the way you fucked it and orgasmed to the highest point. You didn't even care to think about how I felt. DEAD was what I felt! I sat alone and stared in the mirror and asked myself. "What is wrong with you?"

A seraph came and spoke to me and whispered in my ears...

"You're just a human, emotional human, strong human, soulful human, loving human, but also a damaged human, weak human and a hateful human, don't abuse it, use it." I rose to my feet and thought..."YOU SAVED ME FROM DESTRUCTION" I thank you for that.

Poem 6: VINTAGE thoughts

Once upon a time, I thought about you.

Once upon a time, I loved you.

Once upon a time, I hated you.

All these vintage thoughts from me to you.

Once upon a time, I needed you.

Once upon a time, I fell for you

Once upon a time, I envied you.

All these vintage thoughts from me to you.

Once upon a time, I was scared of you.

Once upon a time, I ran from you.

Once upon a time, I searched for you.

All these vintage thoughts from me to you.

Now I'm far far away in a land full of mystery

I look back now and you were my history

But I thank you my darling for giving me that history

These vintage thoughts are my victory.

Poem 7: Your words, not mine.

Your words inflicted the most pain onto me, trying to find every way to pierce my insides. You thought you were trying to help ? Your words, not mine.

Your words made me feel cheerless, bereaved of my own life. Does my sadness make you stronger? Your words, not mine.

Your words brought pleasure and shivers down my spine, You said "I OWN YOU". Your words, not mine.

Your words gave me a false feeling and deprived me of my thoughts, I ask you "Did you lie to me?" Remember their your words, not mine.

Poem 8: Numen (GOD)

You helped me recognise my true-self by sending the devil to me. You believed in me when no one else would. You gave me reconciliation when I lost all hope. You exposed the vision so only I could see it. You desired my true talents when I thought I was forgotten. You are not forgettable!

You're in my prayers

KRAH

Poem 9: HERO

Hero, come and get your reward. I believed that you would show up and save me from this evil world. I thank you for caressing my wounds and making me feel wanted when I wasn't. I thought about you my whole life and prayed to the higher that one day I could pay you back. So come, let my pink lips travel the width and length of your face and hold onto me tight.

HERO...

I LOVE YOU.

Poem 10: way of LIFe

You must understand that the way of life is not perfect. I trust that my experiences of this "life" are not the most positive ones. But what is life if it isn't easy? This way of life is a fucking disaster and a fucking disaster it shall remain. I accept the challenges that GOD sends me. I accept the disfunction of people around me. I accept you and what you bring to my life. I will continue to live my life and just being me. Remember nothing is supposed to be easy. EMBRACE IT, LIVE IT, BE IT.