Bleeding

The life blood is slowly dripping from my veins

Drip drip drip

A never ended cycle of grief, fear, and pain

Who will stand up and find something to stop the blood?

Who will stand up and hold my hand while I slowly fade away?

Who will come in my darkest hour with a pinpoint of light?

Sometimes it feels like no one will ever come for me

No one will ever care enough to try and save me.

As my own darkness slowly engulfs me

Hiding me away from reality

That closet filled with pillows and blankets

That closet creating a safe place to hide

Hiding from what though?

How does one hide from themselves and what is in their head

How does one find a way to fight the demons of their own mind?

I have fought and fought for years

Even believing I had won for a long while

I hadn’t won

Shit I hadn’t even come close

All I did was learn how to shove it deep into a box

Ignoring that box and finding a huge lock

I threw away the key so long ago I thought it would never open

Unfortunately it came flooding open in a rush of fear and pain

So now what do I do?

How am I to survive when once again

The drip drip dripping of blood is escaping my soul

Carol 2017