Blankless Stare

Fighting two identities can be hard.

The power of both pushing against each other, create a grey space where uncertainty lies.

On one hand, I’m a fighter living for God and searching for my call.

On the other hand, I’m a rebel living for the world and making mistakes along the way.

When the two clash, it’s like a smack to the face.

‪David and Goliath was more than just a story of the power of God, it was a metaphor for life.

David had his Goliath in the form of a man, My Goliath is myself.

A man being held back by the world, but at the same time being pulled closer to God.

I live in the grey area. It’s empty, full of nothing but emotions bouncing off of me.

I am full of love, but I am unloved.

I am full of hope, but I am hopeless.

I am content, but I long for happiness.

I am me, but I am not.

The weight of the world is pressing down upon me and the only thing keeping me sane, is locking myself away from the world.

The spirit of Jesus flows through me, I can feel him with every breath and every reading of His word.

The mind is a vast canyon.

Like rivers, our mind is shaped by the things that come in contact with us.

The emptiness looks to be filled, new valleys are made, and at times we can fall into the trap of our mind.

No wonder we are told to always listen to our heart, for our heart is the beating force that guides our every step.

It’s only when you have the power of Jesus at the wheel, can you truly find your destiny.

We must disconnect our mind from our hearts and learn to live as one identity, and not one with the world.

For the world is nothing more than the devils playground.

I awake from my dream only to look into the mirror.

Staring at what I think is myself, but seeing two people.

One who is a child of God.

The other, a pawn in this world.

Where the two clash is a grey area of which I’m left with a blankless stare where the identities mold into one.