Black Hole

I’m hurt,

Not beaten

Or verbally abused,

But still hurt.

I have suppressed so many thoughts,

I don’t even know where to begin.

I can no longer really explain what I feel.

The crazy part is,

Some of the pain I’m feeling

Isn’t even my own.

Being an observer,

You see things

Hear things —

Some of its anger,

Because the people I love are going through hell,

And I don’t know how to help.

I can’t even help myself,

So, can I really be of help to them?

Some of it's sadness,

For the things that can’t be changed.

For the life I wish I was living.

The things I wish were possible.

It’s really just a black hole of emotions.

There is really no deciphering of the

Different emotions and

Determining the origin of them all.

It’s too far gone, but

I’m not crazy to still wish to be happy,

Am I?

Can I really move forward and let go,

Or am I just continuously adding to the black hole,

Pretending I’m okay.

So again,

I am hurting that much is true,

But I want to be happy again

And not pretending to be,

But actually, truly

Happy again.