The pain is so deep I can hardly breathe
I was so young, only a preteen
Foster care by the time I was twelve
Why did she do this to me
Visiting days were brief
I thought she would fight for me
She was everything to me at that point
She robbed my innocence mentally and physically
One day she left me in the hands of a stranger
How could she not care that I was in danger
He forced himself on me, I was not even a teenager
Many times I laid down ready to die, full of anger
Left me in the park, lost and alone, this was a game changer
A godly stranger found me, he was my saver
The pain of this nightmare cuts deeper than a razor
I’m still asking god why I found her almost 20 years later
She hasn’t changed and had no remorse for what she did
Locked me in closets so she could give her body to men
I still remember like it was yesterday, why
She’s now an alcoholic and panhandles to get by
I had to let her go one more, very last time
It is fucking me up, piercing deeply inside
So many moments I have blocked out on purpose
Yet so many memories woke up and resurfaced
I feel like she came back to finish the mental corruption
She’s no longer the person that I cried for and mourned
As she left and walked out that fucking door
I’m paying for a childhood out of my control
Praying why oh why did you give her my soul
I don’t know from here, even where to go.
-h.b. Woods
About the Creator
H.b. Woods
I am a mental health warrior; I battle it daily. I’m a mom to 5, a wife, a daughter, and a friend. Some of my poems are brutal as my ‘journey’ continues. Thank you for taking the time to read my poems.
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