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Sometimes I feel inhuman
And sometimes I don't feel alive.
I have no feelings
and sometimes no soul.
A soul makes you alive
And feelings make you human.
Those are things that others have.
Those are things that I want.
I watch the world around me,
Waiting for the time to come,
Where I would finally get the things I want.
Feelings and a soul, things I want.
Cutting, burning, scratching, and meds.
These are things I've done to gain the things I want.
They never satisfied completely and never lasted.
Feelings and a soul, things never gained.
Suicide and homicide
Have run through my mind.
Attempted both but never committed.
Feelings and a soul, running through my mind.
Talking and writing
From one crazy person to another.
Crying and fighting are all that happen while trying.
Feeling and a soul, just trying.
Feelings and a soul.
It's all the fault of some mix of chemicals.
Why oh why can't I have the right mix.
Drugs and alcohol are the only things left.
But I have to choose:
Do I want Life or do I want Death