Beg Me for Forgiveness

Being a child you have very little freedom-

But shouldn’t a parent be there when you need’em.

All the other kids on the block ate everyday

I was lucky if I every had a place to lay

Money was always a problem in my family

But money was one of the reasons I lost my sanity

See your greed always came first no matter the cost

Your greed always came first no matter how much we lost

Do you understand how toxic you are

Seeing you walk home late from the bar

Seeing you almost get hit by a car

I was only a CHILD

I AM STILL ONLY A CHILD

do you understand how I took care of children only a few years younger than me because you couldn’t

Do you understand I did what a parent should do and a child shouldn’t

Do you understand how it scars someone to hear you having sex with men for money on the other side of the wall

And for what so you could get stoned while I sit in a corner and bawl

Did you understand that on multiple occasions I tried to kill myself

Because I couldn’t live with myself

Do you understand how uncomfortable it was when the older guy you dated made me sit on his lap

It was even worse when he came into my room while You were taking a nap

Do you understand how bruised I was when the man you married hit me

He would knock the breath out of me, I couldn’t breath

Do You understand how physical abuse is nothing compared to verbal abuse

Because when it comes from your mom it’s worse

Do you understand how many times you put me in terrible situations

You made me have terrible thoughts, made me want to make terrible decisions

Do you understand HOW MUCH I HATE YOU

But do you understand how hard it is to hate you

Do you understand that you are my mother and I will never forget it

But Do you understand you were toxic

Do you understand you are my sickness

Do you understand you must beg me for forgivness