Beautiful Disaster

I have problems sleeping at night,

I'm here listening to the fight,

Inside my head.

One wants love,

One wants death,

It's leaving me out of breath.

I'm hurting and don't know how to figure this out,

I call to god but what if I'm not forgiven

And I deserve this hell that I'm living in.

I cut for my sins,

And pray death doesn't win.

But I need an escape,

To fill this gaping hole,

I'm not whole.

I'm half empty,

But I'd pull the trigger if my angels let me.

I'm feelin heavy,

Weighed down by the crown

Called my ego.

Not letting go,

Of the pain that built me

So now I'm guilty.

With cold skin,

I'm caving in,

Wishing I was happy again.