Battlefield

I read his messages everyday

Trying to pick it apart to see how

We became like this

There isn't even a we

Was there ever a we?

At the age of three he left me

Decided that two out of three kids

Raised was a success

He's never saw me cry for him

He doesn't see me often enough to

He was never in my life

But he was never completely absent

Which is the most painful

one foot in the door one foot out

I don't know where i stand

On the battlefield

Me against him

To me it's close to non existent

I don't know about him

I don't even know his birthday

His favourite colour

The meal he likes best

I don't know the simple things

I should be grateful

Some people don't get to grow up

With a father figure, I did

He just wasn't my father

It's too late to fix the cracks between us

He's missing out i get told

But it's hard to believe that

When i'm the one sitting sobbing on my own.