Battlefield

I've been running through a battlefield,

Surviving but still wounded and bruised

Trying to escape the war but it's never ending,

Try to find a happy place but what's happy anymore,

Been fighting so long don't even know what that is anymore,

Try to get back to where I was but greater and bigger wars start,

I dunno how to feel anymore,

I have no feelings,

I'm numb,

To pain,

Joy,

Excitement,

Everything is just there to me,

You used to see me through all the madness but now you create it,

Don't try to help end it,

But make it grow,

Then blame me for the war,

Making me think I'm delusional

Until I eventually go crazy and can't take it anymore,

This world doesn't want me anymore,

It's sucking me dry,

If I disappeared nobody would cry,

In fact continue living their lives,

I'm nothing to the people close to me,

Or who I thought to be,

Just another body occupying useful space.

That was for my troubles the ones that you no longer care for,

I used to be something to you that made me feel like the luckiest person,

The only person,

Special,

Now I especially feel unwanted,

In company,

Time,

And thoughts with feelings,

What feelings?

Not towards me,

I could never attract that sort of thing,

Love?

It dodges me,

Or more teased me,

Gives me a taster of what I'll never have,

I'm toxic to you,

That's why you push me away,

I wallow in self pity,

But do I?

No!

I just recognise what everyone doesn't want to say,

The truth,

But at least make me feel human,

I am human,

Respect me,

Acknowledge me,

I have feelings,

I wanna be somebodies,

I deserve it,

I deserve it all,

I am a person.

I was your person.