I'm currently laying in bed, not able to withstand the heat and the loud chorus of sounds outside my window. Thoughts course through my mind like an uncurable virus. Venomous thoughts spilling what my mouth can't fully comprehend hiding the truth from everyone, even myself. I want to shut my eyes and spend that time mindlessly sucked into a world of carelessness and manufactured scenarios. It's hard to comprehend what my body wants, it's preventing me from controlling it to some extent, as if it wasn't meant for me at all. Silently but deeply wanting to be human, having the ability to feel supremacy over all. Sleep is something special, we don't all get shut eye at night. There will be a day where we can all just close our eyes and get lost in the inevitability of demise.
About the Creator
Steph Rain
I write to release my flow of thoughts. My writing stems from roots of contemplation, It's fed by the idea of doubt and raised by my intuition.
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Trapped
I have been feeling a little out of it these few couple of days. I'm basically sleep deprived, I pretty much starve myself, and my mind is on full overdrive. I've been trying to change my body to what I believe is an acceptable way. I deprive myself from a lot of things that could potentially benefit me, but I simply push them away. I have been more anti social than usual, my human interactions aren't usually the best. I hardly speak to my family, I don't keep in touch with any friends or acquaintances. I feel trapped in a bottle of whiskey. I don't care of anything around me, hateful commentary doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I dislike the outside world more than anything, I make up any excuse to prevent leaving the house. Deep down I know I just hate the idea of facing reality, I hated having to be a participant of this battle for crippling happiness. Contemplating whether money or people are the meaning of real happiness. As I see it is not of importance. I'm simply an outcast, a vast soul, a mindless zombie, just a stray. No one understands me or the voices in my head. They let me know when the time has arrived. But I wouldn't push it too much because as psychotic as it seems I kind of feel happy like this.
By Steph Rain6 years ago in Poets
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