R.A. Hudson
Bio
I am a university student. In spare time I write what I feel and what I want. I realize I have a lot of work to do with my writing, but hopefully, one-day my writing will be decent enough to actually have an audience.
Stories (7/0)
The Emptiness (Part 2)
("The Emptiness" Part 1 here.) How do you deal with the ruining of a friendship? You fell for them but they fell for someone else. You say your goodbyes and now you're crying. Trying to deal with the consequences of never saying you liked them early on, like an idiot trying to ski down the Italian Alps. Running into trees, going over the cliffs, plummeting to your death. But you remember you're in the office with others around you trying to not cry like a little girl, making mistakes is a part of life, you let someone go who you feel for. It was for your own good, the pain wasn't good for you, but this new pain it feels worse than the anxious pain. Which is worse? Anxious pain or the grief of letting the one you have feelings for go? They almost feel of the same level of pain just a different kind of pain. Craving their arms around you, their lips on yours, and their body between your legs. However, this isn't possible due to the anxiety within. It stopped everything and ruined the potential relationship and ruins the already friendship. How long until the plummeting to death ends? Does it come to an end when someone new comes along? Or does it end when you hit the ground? Either way, all that is known is that the pain will end one way or another with another or with acceptance. Now is the time to try and move on, to find yourself within, know who you are and what it is you want out of life. The focusing of life, those goals that you have, those are the things that matter. It's difficult, though, isn't it? This innate need to have someone is more of a want; humans are self sufficient, able to move along life and become powerful in their own way.
By R.A. Hudson6 years ago in Humans
Do I Have to Say Goodbye?
When having to give up the thing that makes you happy because it also causes you pain, it's like digging into your own skin and ripping your heart out of your chest. The thought of having to say goodbye is anxiety ridden thoughts. The heart and mind is racing against your own logic to make you say no. You'd rather deal with the pain and the suffering just to have a few messages sent throughout the week, to have that person be a part of your life in some form. You know it is bad for you, getting the advice from friends saying what you know is the truth. Yet, you still feel stuck between two places, deal with grief after saying goodbye, something that will only last for a short time, or continue with the lasting pain. That person has thoughts and emotions for someone else, you can feel them being happy for their crush. However, despite your crush you have to say goodbye, keeping in contact with them is tearing your soul up. You want them to be happy, but you cannot be there to see their happiness. You tell them the truth of why you are saying goodbye and then remove the conversation, unknowing if they saw the message or not. It's for the best you say, the pain will eventually go away. You want them inside of you, on top of you, holding you more than you want the living sustenance of food and water. Move on, get better, find someone new who is going to reply back to you more than just once or twice a week, who feels the same things for you. One day, hopefully, someone will come along and show you what you deserve in your short life. Although, what if someone doesn't come along, what if loneliness is the only thing that will stay forever? Sure a lot of this loneliness is up to you, but when struck with the anxiety of a million thoughts, all negative, how can one go on?
By R.A. Hudson6 years ago in Humans