Abigail Rose
Bio
Writing helps me heal.
Stories (12/0)
What You Should Know
Before you try being with me, or loving me, I need you to understand these things. I've had hands lain on me, when all I wanted was for them to caress me gently. I've given my everything to someone who, gave their everything to someone else. I've had people lie to me, and tell me that they loved me, when the only thing they loved, was below my waist, and in-between my legs. I've been with someone who only wanted me around when they needed something, but left me begging for their attention, and company. I've been with someone who loved the empowerment he felt being with me, but who couldn't handle the exclusivity that came with me. I've had someone accuse me of cheating, when they were the ones lying in other women's beds. I've had my trust broken so many times, that it's started to feel like everything will end the same way; with them in the arms of another, as I lay in my own, while silent tears fall down my face. I constantly battle with thoughts that I am not good enough, and when a healthy relationship comes along, it terrifies me more then anything before it. I'm terrified of finding love in someone else, and being the only one that ever falls. So before you be with me, or love me, I need you to understand something. I'll pledge all of my loyalty to you, constantly write you sonnets and paragraphs on how I appreciate you; but, it'll take work for me to trust you.
By Abigail Rose5 years ago in Poets
Remember
Do you remember the first time you fell in love? How all consuming it was? Do you recall the first time they said your name? The way only their voice could tame? Do remember the first time another's lips touched yours? The way you inhaled as if you forgot how to breathe? Did you forget how to speak? Do you recall the first time you felt desired? Did you see it as lust? Or did you believe that love was required? Do you remember the first time they looked you in the eyes? How did you feel? Did you feel as if their could be no lies swimming in those eyes? That they only contained life? Do you still hold onto that ache? Does it still cause you pain? If so, why don't you let it all go? I hope that you know, you don't have to hold on to it anymore. You deserve the world, and you deserve to find the happiness you craved from others within yourself. You deserve to be wanted, not simply needed. You deserve to feel love, not just love. You're so much stronger than you'll ever know, and you deserve to feel at home. Tell me, do you remember the fist time you felt joy? Even if it was just for a second, that you felt no pain? Tell me, do you recall the first time you walked outside, and saw the sky? The moment you fell in-love with not only the beauty around you, but the delicate intricate nature of it all? Did it give you pause? Tell me, did you stand open-mouthed in awe? If nature can mend, then why do you feel as if you heart cannot mend? This doesn't have to be the end, because eventually your heart and mind will convalesce.
By Abigail Rose6 years ago in Poets
Focus
Focus on the memories, the ones filled with joyous things. Focus on the way it all felt, focus on the memory, the memory of your mothers heartbeat; the strong rhythmic thud against your ear. Focus on the way her voice sounded when she said I love you and you were able to first remember it. Focus on the love that she will always hold for you, and focus on the life that she breathed into you. Focus on the way that she held you, and still holds you when you cry. Focus on the fact that she'll love you even if you don't know why. Focus on your childhood memories, how she was the one you missed the most when you were far away from home. Focus on the smell of her perfume as she hugs you close and tells you that no matter what she'll always love you because you are her home. Focus on the sacrifices that she made, so that you could have everything. Focus on the life that she has tried to help build for you; the one so full of strength, love, courage, and hope. Focus on the way her voice sounded when she sang to you, the love that she conveyed through every note. Focus on your smile, the one that reflects her very own. Focus on her love for you, for it will outlast anyone else that you hold. Focus on the memories as they crash into you, and bask in their glow. Focus on the fact that she is the only one who will ever love you so selflessly, because even though you are you; you are half of her.
By Abigail Rose6 years ago in Poets
Untitled 1
My heart is tattered and torn, and you told me that you couldn't be around me anymore. So I submerged myself into the words, because it was my way of escaping your memory, of escaping the way you made me feel, how you smelled, the sight of your eyes in the sun, and how they seemed to melt. I was so naive to believe every single word that you told me, I was so lost in your promises, and in my own expectations. I swear I'll never forgive myself for that, I swore that I would never fall in love with someone similar to my father, but there you were. So perfectly wrapped, hiding your wickedness inside of your gentlemanly facade, you were like the perfect trap for me, and it took practically nothing. I'm trying not to remain stuck on you, but I fell head over heels in love with you, I only wish that I had known the truth. I wish that I never would have met you, and I wish that you never knew my truth.
By Abigail Rose6 years ago in Poets
V
I will never understand how you could choose your spouse over your own flesh and blood. She is your daughter and somehow it feels as if that never mattered to you. The moment you sympathized with our abuser, I lost all respect for you. Now, I hope you can finally see the domino effect that you have created, and I hope that you'll finally understand that the only one to blame is you. You could of stopped all of this if you wouldn't have lied for him, offered cover for him, and enabled him to continue his wretched cycle of abuse. For all of this, I will never ever respect you or love you. That is something that I cannot and will not ever be able to do. I hope that you finally notice how everything is falling to the ground around you.
By Abigail Rose6 years ago in Poets
Torment
For most, sleeping is a time of relaxation and utter bliss. For me, it's a terrifying way of reminding me, that I have to face my inevitable, iniquity of a psyche. Every night, I try to do everything in my power to prevent the dark thoughts that bombard my sleeping mind. But, every time, I'm left incapacitated by the torment that always finds me. Constantly, I ask myself, is this my latent intellect showing me who I truly am? How can someone of my empathetic nature, be capable of thinking such horrid things? Or are they truly just mind games being inflicted upon me? Honestly. They make me question my own sanity; am I really even here? Or am I just perceiving my existence on this existential plane? Is it past traumas, that force me to foresee every possible negative outcome? Is it my subconscious mind's way of forcing me to survive? In these dreams, I see the darkest parts of myself, and others that I encounter; and when I tell others of these dreams, they tell me I hold all of the power, and only I can choose what happens in my dreams. But still, every night, I find myself powerless, in these multi dimensional horrors you like to call dreams.
By Abigail Rose6 years ago in Poets
Forgetting You
Last night I almost forgot your name, and the way your lips felt pressed against my own. I started to forget the way your name seemed to taste rolling off of my tongue; sweet, passionate, and lovely. I forgot what it was like to be held in your warm embrace, and how everything seemed to melt away. I forgot the way it felt when you'd whisper my name; the butterflies only your voice could evoke. I seemed to forget the lies that you told; the ones that made my blood run cold. I started to forget your constant trysts with other women; the ones you told me didn't mean anything because you loved me. This was a truly foolish thing to say; yet I forgot that I deserved better than you.
By Abigail Rose6 years ago in Poets