Army, Singular

When the dawn arrives

I wake, bleary eyed,

questioning what today will bring

Or dreading

As I drag my tender body to the mirror

To stare at the knots in my hair

& food still in my teeth from 3 days prior

There is a heaviness residing in me

A blinding, black fog

Smothering me,

like a hand cupped mercilessly over my face

I'm stood there, naked, pondering,

& begin I consider my whole self

The self that's image only represents chaos in this moment

is the same self

That chose to rise in spite of it

there is strength in disorder

and I hold my own hand

when taking myself to the shower

to cleanse myself of the past weeks stupor

I know that it will return,

maybe tomorrow, or another day soon

But for now

I sit in my robe and acknowledge that I am here,

Sparring with deceitful thoughts

as an army of one,

And that is enough