Are You Okay?
A Spoken Word Poem About Depression
“Are you okay?” they say
And as I force yet another smile on my face, I say, “Yeah, just tired.”
I watch their eyes fill with relief
Because they don’t actually give a damn about my grief
They don’t care that my world is collapsing all around me with the sudden ease of an earthquake
Shaking and crumbling, while everyone I’ve ever cared about just stands by and watches
Because what could they even do to save me now?
They don’t care that when I look in the mirror my eyes fill with tears
Because I fear I will never be enough
They don’t care that, as they make their little jokes, my world goes up in smokes
They don’t care that the abyss of depression and the endless tunnel of anxiety have simultaneously swallowed me whole
They don’t care that, while my depression makes me want to care about nothing, my anxiety forces me to care about every little thing
They don’t care
Only asking in a desperate attempt to appease the judgemental soul that is their conscious
Only asking to make themselves feel better
And because of this, if they ask, I have no reason to try
Try to explain the empty holes and endless tunnels with which I can never seem to escape
Try to tell them how hopelessly lonely I feel, even surrounded by people
Try to make it clear that to me;
Life is pointless
Love is flawless
But my fears are endless
Making every tear I cry and every moment of pure, endless heartache I encounter add ten more pounds to the weight on my shoulders
Making every new worry harder to cope with
And making every new poem fill past the brim with despair
Overflowing into a river of grief
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