Arbitrary

I find myself

Frozen as fossils

Deep in the abyss

Trauma led to decay

Obey and you dismay

Beat and beat

Bloodied and bruised

Scarred with disarray

A fraction of a cost

To be born in your world

Hate is hate

No matter how sorry

You claim to portray

As if I was deserving

Bow down to God

Giving all the Mary’s I can give

How I was lost

But still I am not found

Possession of mind, body, and soul

You taught the acts

Taught that wrong is right

Right is wrong

Turn the mind upside down

To the rotten core

Love is learning (I find funny)

Peace is yearning (Tell your lies)

Mind over matter (No fix)

Could I just so such a quick

Delusion of perception

Persuasion manipulation took all of me

Am I a survivor or a victim?

A victim or survivor?

Is there really both?

When it replays like old movie reels

Showing me of home childhood and regrets

Shameful and guilty

To be made all the time

Never to do it right

Only to perfect the perfection

Within and without

Never to fit in

All alone and lonely all the time

Suicide on the tip of the mind

The tongue to pierce

Made flesh of God's image

Is there ever enough for me