i dont know what's worse...
crying and hiding or crying out
in the open
i don't know what is sane
being sane or insane
i'm tired constantly and just
hoping that the days just go by without
any sort of meaning without any regard
i want my days to have no meaning
and live life in a big blah
i feel like i felt when i was young
years ago when i wanted to curl up
on my bed and dream happy dreams
and think of things i wish would happen
from fiction books i've read
i feel like i'm a living corpse
no life in me what so ever
i fake a smile to make those around
me feel better about themselves
i smile at the faces who don't smile at me
i laugh at things i don't want to laugh at
i giggle when i know i have nothing
to giggle about
at night i pray to my dead grandmother
asking for advice asking just to hear
her voice one last time to tell me
strawberry everything is ok
days are slowly starting to feel
like weeks months years
i'm starting to feel that i don't
want to be here
i don't want to be here
i want to soar high and wide to places
unknown i want to make a great escape
into oblivion wishing i could go back to
nothing back to no one
i don't want to be twelve again
it seems like i haven't aged when i have
i feel like i can't escape my own skin
the ickiness and nastiness of my past when
i knew i was worthless has come back
do not tell me that everything is fine when
in reality it is not
i'm dying on the inside while trying to make
it seem like i'm living on the out
and what's worst of all no one notices
or they do and pretend that they don't
About the Creator
Tiaunna N.
I can't go on running through lovers...
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