Anxiety

You’re in control of the creature

Not the other way around

Spinning stories and weaving tales

Clouding your mind,

It poisons your thoughts

The spider cannot be crushed

But it can be tamed

Keep it in a cage

How exhausting when

This creature has been free

To rampage amongst your mind

Generating pain and hurt

Causing a chaos within that doesn’t reflect outside

Just get over it, stop it

You repeat but there’s more to it than that

For how can you tame a monster you cannot see?

Asking is difficult, a silly fear perhaps-

But one nonetheless,

It makes you feel broken

A mirror shattered and cracked

Constantly questioning yourself –

Though you know the answer

Wishing everything was simple

Unstitching the spider from my mind and tossing it in the garbage-

The task will be difficult there’s no questioning that

I don’t want to – says the voice, but that’s the spider talking

For I know that I do

I need to know how to restrain it,

It can’t and won’t control me

Making everything more difficult to do

How can it be explained to someone who does not know?

Some days the spider will take control

It is overwhelming –

I want to sob

This makes me feel so mad I didn’t try long ago

I will learn to suppress this spider

No matter what it takes.