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Anxiety

This is a poem about my struggle with anxiety/ when I learned about how many mental illnesses ran in my family.

By Kenzie KatePublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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Photo Credit: Porsche Brosseau/Flickr

It's here all the time,

Infusing lies in my head that could very well be the truth.

It never goes away, my own fear paralyzes me from the neck down.

I become trapped in my thoughts.

I picture my enemy.

It shackles me.

It gags me.

It blindfolds me.

It inhibits me.

It is a black beast, a demon with the bones of my ancestors stuck in its teeth.

I am tortured, being tortured, as have the generations before me.

We are a troubled folk, for there are many beasts that have been passed down to me,

Through broken, trembling hands.

They shackle me.

They gag me.

They blindfold me.

They inhibit me.

These beasts have been set upon my shoulders,

A burden that I had no choice in bearing.

Their claws dig deep into my muscle, my bone,

Breaking me just enough to ensure compliance.

I shackle myself.

I gag myself.

I blindfold myself.

I inhibit myself.

It is all a cycle.

A chain of events that constantly repeats itself.

Insomnia seduces my depression, tenderly stroking its power over me.

My depression purrs in pleasure, releasing bouts of self-harm and paranoia.

This fuels the demon, it is pleased, and so the cycle continues.

I feel myself ebbing,

Every piece of me washing away until I am a shell of what I once was.

The beasts release my shoulders and I collapse.

They circle around me, overwhelming me in darkness.

They have won, and what is left of me retreats into myself,

Trying desperately to fill the empty space.

There is no relief, I hear them outside, I weep.

And, with salty tears flowing down paper thin cheeks, I hear hope.

My heart is still beating.

I am still alive.

I cradle my heart in my hands,

Determined to protect the last piece of myself.

Keep it safe.

Keep it safe.

Keep it safe.

Keep it safe.

sad poetry
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About the Creator

Kenzie Kate

I am a certified makeup artist in beauty and special effects, and I love sharing my knowledge as well as some poetry!

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